Monday, November 24, 2008

My Thoughts...

I have thought long and hard about this post....only because I let what I think the judgements of others will be get to me. But I need to learn not to worry about what others will think of me. So here goes...I am not a stay at home mother. I work. I wish I was able to stay home but that just isn't possible for us right now. I read on other people's blogs about how grateful they are that they are stay at home moms. They should be. Right at this moment in time I am grateful that I have a job. With Joe looking for something else I consider it a blessing that I am gainfully employed. When I am asked if I work or stay home I say that I work. But then I feel like I need to go into an explanation of how I only work 4 days a week and why I have to work.

Elder M. Russell Ballard gave a talk in April's 2008 General Conference. In it he said, "There is no one perfect way to be a good mother. Each situation is unique. Each mother has different challenges, different skills and abilities, and certainly different children. The choice is different and unique for each mother and each family. Many are able to be “full-time moms,” at least during the most formative years of their children’s lives, and many others would like to be. Some may have to work part- or full-time; some may work at home; some may divide their lives into periods of home and family and work. What matters is that a mother loves her children deeply and, in keeping with the devotion she has for God and her husband, prioritizes them above all else." Click here for the talk in its entirety.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't jealous of those that got to stay home. In fact I often wonder how much of a struggle it is or just how some are able to stay home in these economic times. I struggle everyday with not being home with my son. But I know that he is in good hands while I am away as a very dear friend of ours watches him. But I take comfort in knowing that I am a good mother and wife. I do what I can to be the best that I can. And I know that my husband and child don't love me any less when I'm not at home. I only ask that you not judge those of us that don't have the privilege of being home.

9 comments:

Cristin said...

Good post. I do feel very blessed and fortunate that I am able to stay home right now, but like you said, it is also a huge blessing for your family right now that you have a job.

When we were living in Provo, I went to a talk at BYU about working mothers. They mentioned in the Family Proclamation that it says that women are "primarily" (not ALWAYS) responsible for the children. This means that there will be times when a mother will have to work outside the home, etc., and that's okay.

Les said...

Amen Sister!

Kathy Ludwig said...

Kim,

As the mother of three adult children, I have had times in my life when I staid at home, times when I worked because I had to and times I worked because I wanted to. It's never easy! We can only do our best.

We do what we must, when we must and trust God to supply the rest. Be at ease with your life and don't worry about what others may think.

Upon being together with your family this summer, I can tell you I believe you are blessed - and that you are a blessing to your family.

Davis family said...

You are a wonderful mother and are a blessing in your families life always, but for now you have to work and you are blessed for helping support your family. Being a stay at home mom, its not always easy to make ends meet, or take care of the family, I love to do it, but sometimes it is stressful, but sometimes I'm sure I take advantage of the situation. I'm sorry if I have ever made you feel bad for having to work right now. I would never intentionally say anything to hurt you. I know how much you would love to stay home, and understand that its just not the time you can. You are an awesome mom. and I love you.

Tiffany -- the mommy said...

You are a wonderful, great and amazing mom!! There is no reason to think that your not. Hey sometimes I wish that I went to work. Don't get me wrong I love being home with Annabella, but some days.... Everyone has different reasons and ways to raise a family. You are raising your son and are a great wife. The Lord knows your struggles with these things and you are truly blessed by HIM! He knows our hearts and loves you!! So what you work!! You are great and any child would be lucky to have you as a mom!! I love and miss ya!!

Cati said...

kim kim kim... you silly girl. have you seen your cute little boy lately? well look around and find him... and look at him, because he is the fruit of a beautiful, wonderful mother that works some and then stays home for the rest, No explaining necessary. You guys are wonderful, keep it up.

Tara Brooks said...

Being a working mom is not easy. You are a good mom and that is what matters. You know what is right for your family. Heavenly Father knows what is right for your family. Don't worry about what anyone else thinks. You are amazing!
I wish I could say that it gets easier to leave your kids, but it doesn't. But he'll be ok. I worked until I was pregnant with #3. Luckily, I had my mom and Andi. I couldn't have done it without them.
Anyway...keep your head up. Your an amazing mom.

Scott and Janette said...

Kim,

You are terrific--I can tell how wonderful your family is when you were here this summer. You have absolutely NOTHING to feel guilty abut. I am a working mom too, and sometimes I think that makes me a better mom. Never let anyone make you feel bad for working. Zachary is getting all he needs from you and Joe, and with whomever he is with when you have to work. I think it is good for children to be with others too (this is coming from a teacher of preschoolers). Socialization is key for young children. So be happy in what you are doing and know that God loves and cares for you and your family whether you work or not!!!!!

Love your cousin,
Janette

nikki said...

Who is judging you? Sometimes we are hardest on ourselves when it really isn't necessary. I think we are all doing the best we can and what appears to be ideal or "perfect" isn't usually.
Don't beat yourself up or feel like you have to explain yourself to anyone! Love you!